Pure Massacre

To “Mommy”,


I hate you. You make my life a living hell… yes you may feed me, put clothes on my back, and provide me with shelter. But truthfully none of that matters anymore… i've never been happy. Not a single day in my fucking life… every second im with you my heart drops lower and lower into a black hole. I’m depressed... not because of bullying at school. Because that I can deal with... but what happens at home. You yell, you scream, and you fuck my life up. I don’t need materialistic things, all I need in life is to be happy… ive never WANTED materialistic things… all I’ve ever wanted is to be happy…you wonder why I never speak to you (unless necessary) or why I never smile anymore… because you’re a bitch! And the devil owns your soul... I hope one day you die a slow painful death... so you can feel all the pain you’ve gave to me the past 13 years of my life. I’ve tried to relieve my stress... But nothing works... cutting is the closest thing to a “haven” that I have right now… if it wasn’t for cutting… I would have committed suicide by now. I don’t think you’ll ever be able to fathom how much I hate you. You’re a bitch and you deserve death. You put too much stress on me… your expectations of me are too high. Just because im “smart” doesn’t mean im fucking Dexter. Its summer and the only things I’ve heard out of your mouth towards me are negative. You keep telling me to start the application process for high school… again its summer... I just want to live. Do you think I enjoy staying upstairs in a room on tumblr all day because no one likes me and no one wants to hang out with me… well I do actually. The people on tumblr have been a fucking family to me… the mother I never had… I can say that they genuinely love me. And I regret nothing. You say all the decisions you make FOR me are for my own good... you think sending me away tonight to live with my alcoholic/ mentally abusing father is a good decision. Well I do… I’d rather be torn down by him than by you... at least at the end of the day. I know he loves me. Hopefully this life doesn’t last long. I’m ready to go live with my heavenly father; the torture of this earth is terrible. Call me overdramatic if you want. But I don’t give a fuck. Your opinion of me is irrelevant now. I feel so empty inside. It’s always been like that though. Every smile that I put on is forced. And every tear that I hold back kills me a little more on the inside. I’m sick of you. And I really don’t think I can deal anymore, without resulting to suicide. My heart is black… everything inside of me is black… I doesn’t fucking deserve this… I’m just a child. Barley 13. God never intended for life to be this way. But I guess it happens to the best of us… The point of this is to say fuck you… you don’t deserve the life that you have… And neither do I. 

Sincerely, 
Tyler.